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Ultimate Gambling Guide for GTA Online - odds, probabilities, and optimal strategies
Since the Diamond Casino update, I have seen a large number of 12-year-olds posting Blackjack memes on this sub. As a parent, this has me very worried. On top of that, I have seen some of the most trustworthy GTA Youtubers giving flawed gambling advice, which can have damaging impact on their gullible audiences. So that's why I decided to write this up, to educate everyone on the subject, so there will be no more misunderstandings. (2020 Update down at the bottom.) If you're one of those Youtubers that wants to use this information in a video, feel free to do so. The more people (especially kids) that become educated about gambling, the better. But then also please go back and review your own work, and delete or edit the videos that are giving out the wrong advice, like where you're saying you have "a good strategy for making money with roulette", or some other nonsense that I've heard this week. Delete that please. Before I get into the individual games, I need to discuss a few concepts first, that will make understanding the rest a lot easier. Expected return and variance A game like Roulette or Slots has a fixed expected return on your bets. This is a percentage that you have no way of influencing. Say you are flipping a coin against a friend, and you both put up $1. The winner gets the pot. Since the odds are even at 50%, in the long run, you will expect to break even. Your expected return is 100% of your bet. But imagine if you would play this coin flipping game in a casino against the house. On the "house rules" listed at the table they would probably say that you would only get 95 cents back for every win, while you are forfeiting a dollar on every loss. Would you still play? Sounds stupid to do so, but still, everybody does it. Every bet they place on Roulette, every coin they put into a Slot machine, is based on the same concept. Those few cents they take on every bet are their profit margin, and has paid for all the Vegas lights, the Mirage volcanoes, and the Bellagio fountains. Make no mistake - casino gambling games are not designed to make you lose, because sure, you can get lucky on a single night, but they are designed to make them win. That's the beauty of it. They can both exist at the same time. Too many people that don't see how this works, are just destined for disaster. Just because you went on a lucky streak and won 8 games out of 10, does not mean that flipping coins is a profitable game, or that choosing tails is a winning strategy. Always be aware of the house edge, your true chances of winning, and just realize that you got lucky. There is no such thing as a strategy in flipping a coin that will give you a higher expected return, so it's just pure gambling, just like Slots and Roulette. Most casino games are made in such a way, that your expected return is a little under 100%. This means that from every dollar bet at the tables, the casino expects to keep a few cents. For individual players, results may vary. Some will win, most will lose. But for the house, it doesn't matter. They take millions of bets each day, so for them, the expected average works out a lot sooner. In short: the house always wins. When looking at the house edge, we're talking about the expected long-term result, based on the game's house rules. But for a player, it can take literally tens of thousands of hands or spins before you also reach this average number. Until that time, you can experience huge upswings and downswings, that are the result of nothing but short-term luck, which is called variance. Some games and some bets have a much higher variance than others, which means your actual results will differ enormously from what you're expected to be at. Take for example betting on red/black at the Roulette table. This is a low-variance proposition, because it has a high percentage chance of occurring, and a low payout. Contrast this with betting single numbers in Roulette, which only win once every 38 spins on average. This bet has a much higher variance, meaning you can easily hit a dry spell, and not hit anything for 200 bets in a row, or you can see a single number hit three times in five consecutive spins. This is not a freak occurrence in high-variance bets. Even though the expected return in both these bets is exactly the same, there's a huge difference in variance, causing massive differences in short-term results, which can go both ways. You need to be aware of this, before you decide what types of bets you are comfortable with placing. Gamblers' Fallacy Another thing to realize, is that each individual game, hand, or spin, is completely independent from the one(s) before it, and after it. Gamblers tend to believe, that the chance of a certain outcome is increased, based on previous results. The most famous example comes from the Casino de Monte Carlo, where the Roulette wheel managed to land on black 26 times in a row. Gamblers lost many millions during that streak, all frantically betting on red, believing that the odds were in favor of the wheel coming out on red, after producing so many blacks. This is not true. Each round is completely independent, and the odds are exactly the same. You will hear people say things like a Blackjack table being "hot" or "cold", which is completely superstitious, and should be ignored. The exception was when Blackjack was being dealt from a shoe. It made card counting possible. But with the introduction of shuffle machines, and continuous shuffling like is being used in GTA, this no longer exists. This is also why "chasing your losses" is a very bad idea. After being on a losing streak for some time, many gamblers believe that now it's their turn to start winning. So they will often increase their bet size, believing that when their predicted winning streak comes around, they will win back their losses, and more. The reality of it, more often than not, is that people will indeed start playing higher and higher limits, until they are completely broke. Nobody is ever "due for a win". There is never a guarantee that you're about to start winning. In fact, the opposite is more likely to be true. You are, after all, in a casino. Betting systems Some people like to think that they have a fool-proof betting system, like the Martingale system. Simply increase or even double your bet when you lose, and keep doing that until you win. In theory, this system will always win. So that's why table limits were introduced, and where the system fails. If you start at the Roulette table, playing red/black, with a small 750 chip wager, and just double your bet every time you lose, you only have to lose 6 times in a row, before you will be betting the table limit of 48,000, just to get that 750 chip profit. Sure, you can go on all evening without this happening, winning 750 chips each time, but this losing streak only has to happen once, and you're bust. Any betting system like this is ill-advised, because you are hugely increasing your so-called "risk of ruin", and that's what we were trying to avoid. And even if your starting bet is only 100 chips, after only nine straight losses, and nine doubled bets, you are betting the table limit at 50,000 chips. If you lose that bet, you're 100,000 chips in the hole, with no way to recover that with your 100 chip base wager. So don't believe anyone that says this is the perfect system to always win in the casino. Sooner or later they will understand why they were wrong, when they're asking you for a loan. Set your limits BEFORE you start playing One final point before we get into the games, a general tip for people that head out to play: money management. Just like in real life, before you go to the casino, decide on a maximum amount that you are WILLING TO LOSE. Bet small enough, so that amount can last you through the entire evening, and you will not be tempted to run to the ATM to continue playing. Considering GTA money, some people will be comfortable losing 1% of their GTA bank balance, some people will be comfortable with gambling away 5% of their total GTA savings. It's up to you what you can handle. Decide for yourself where it will start to hurt, and don't cross that line. But whatever number you decide on, as soon as you lost that amount, get up and walk away. Don't chase your losses, stick to your limits, and accept that this has not been your day. There is always another game tomorrow. Always agree with yourself on a simple stop-loss rule, how much you would want to lose at most, and simply stop playing when you get there. Same goes for winning. You can decide on a number, how much profit you would like to take away from the casino. You can go on a hot streak and be up half a million in a short period of time, but if you would continue to play longer, looking for more, chances are that you're going to lose it all back. Most people are happy with doubling their daily casino budget, for example. Others are looking for 10 bets profit in Blackjack. Whatever you choose, when you hit that number, you can stop playing and bank your profits, or you can continue playing if you're still enjoying the games, but then only just play minimum bet sizes. Then you're just playing for fun, not for money. You've already made your profit, so simply keep it in your pocket, and don't risk losing it again. Either way, decide on what your money management strategy will be, and STICK TO IT. Casino games in GTA Online Now, I'm going to dive into the games that you can find at the Diamond casino, ordered from worst to best. 6) Slots Generally the rule is this: the less strategy a game has, the worse it is for the player. And with slots, this is definitely the case. The only influence you have, is choosing what type of machine you're going to play. Basically, there are two types of slot machines: -high frequency, low payout slots -low frequency, high payout slots In the first type, there is no huge (progressive) jackpot on offer, just your average selection of prizes that don't go up to crazy amounts. This will result in a player having many more spins resulting in a win. The amounts that you win on the bigger prizes, will be smaller, but they do come around more often. This type of slot machine has a lower variance, which means that your money should last you longer, winning many smaller prizes along the way to keep you going. The second type of slot machine lures you in with the temptation of a huge jackpot prize. Even though the long-term expected return on these machines is the same as the previous type, the prize distribution is hugely different. The large jackpot prize weighs heavily on the scale of expected return, but the chance of it hitting is extremely small. This results in a much higher variance on this type of machine. Usually your money will go down very fast, because the smaller prizes are less rewarding than on the other type of machine. At the Diamond, the info screen says the player return at slots is set at 98.7%. This means that, on average, for every maximum bet of 2,500 chips, you expect to lose 32.5 chips. This might not seem like a lot, but the danger of slots is that the game is extremely fast. You can spin about once every 6 seconds, which would result in an expected LOSS of about 20,000 chips per hour of playing. But again, in this long-term expected number, the large jackpot awards are also factored in, and as long as you don't hit those big prizes, you'll see your money go down a lot faster. In any case, thank heavens the max bet is only set at 2,500, or else we would see more players go bankrupt at alarming rates. Optimal strategy for slots: There is none. Because after betting, you have no more influence over the outcome. The only choices you have, is what type of machine you want to play at, and how much money you are going to risk. And those are all personal preference. As long as you stick to your loss limits, as discussed above, there's no harm in having a go every once in a while, hoping to get a lucky hit. Just realize that you don't have a high chance of scoring a big win, so as soon as you do, get up and walk away. 5) Roulette Roulette is also a game where you have no influence over the outcome. There is zero skill involved. You place your bet, and that's it. In traditional French roulette, a table has only the single-zero, but of course, for American casinos that wasn't enough of a house edge, so they simply doubled their profits by adding a second zero. The house edge was increased from 1/37 to 1/19, which is huge. This makes playing on a double-zero roulette table by definition a sucker's play. The payouts scale evenly, which means that a bet on a single number, and a bet on half of the numbers, and everything in between, yields the same expected return. The only difference, again, being the variance that you are willing to subject yourself to. The player return for double-zero Roulette for all bets is 94.74%. Except for the 5-number bet, which can only be made by placing a bet on the two top rows that contain 0, 00, 1, 2 and 3. The expected return on this bet is lower: 92.1%. This is because it only pays out 6-1. Why? Well, the number 36 isn't divisible by 5, so the greedy people that came up with double-zero Roulette had to round it off someway, and as expected, it wasn't going to be in the players' favor.Just remember that that 5-number bet is the worst bet at the table, and should be avoided. All other possible bets have the same expected return. So it really doesn't matter how you spread your bets, if you bet only one chip, or if you litter the entire table with a bucketload of chips. Each chip you put out there, has the same expected return, so there is no strategy that will improve your long-term results. Assuming that you're betting the maximum table amount of 50,000 chips, you will be looking at an expected loss of about 2,630 chips per spin. Considering that a round takes about 45 seconds to complete, your expected LOSS at the GTA Roulette tables will be around 200,000 chips per hour of playing. Optimal strategy for double-zero roulette: Stay away. Stay far away. 4) Three Card Poker With Three Card Poker, we come across the first game where there is actually some strategy involved. You get to look at your cards, and then decide if you want to fold, and surrender your ante, or double your bet. Additionally, you can choose to place a side bet on "Pair Plus", which offers progressive payouts. There are some websites out there that ran all the numbers with computer simulations, and even though I would like to quote the source here, these websites are understandably littered to the max with online casino ads, so that's why I have decided against doing that. Optimal strategy for Three Card Poker: For this game you only have to remember one strategy rule: Always bet on any high card queen-six-four or better, and fold any high card queen-six-three or lower. That's it. Just don't forget to double check if you're not folding a straight or a flush, and you'll be fine. This strategy will result in an expected return of 96.63%. The Pair Plus sidebet, with the payout table that is used at the Diamond casino, gives you an expected return of 97.68%, which is actually a bit better than the main ante bet. So by playing both wagers, you're reducing your expected losses per bet, but since you're betting more, you're also increasing your expected loss per hour. My advice would obviously be to not play this game at all, but if you do, put as much of your bet as possible on the Pair Plus, while making our Ante bet as small as you can. To be able to compare it to the other games at the Diamond, let's stay on that 50,000 maximum wager, meaning making your ante bet 35,000, and your pair plus bet 15,000, if the table would allow it. This results in an expected loss of about 1,525 chips per hand, and with a round taking about 45 seconds, this adds up to an expected LOSS of around 120,000 chips per hour of playing. In comparison, if you would only play the ante bet for 50,000 per hand, you expect to lose 1,685 chips per hand, which means an expected LOSS of about 135,000 chips per hour. So the more out of that 50,000 wager you can put on the "Pair Plus" sidebet, the better. Even though it may be fun to try out this game for a bit, since there's only one simple strategy rule to follow, you'll soon find yourself robotically grinding down your bankroll until it has vaporized. You're not missing out on anything if you skip these tables, there is no real challenge. Just like with Roulette and Slots, if you want to try it out nonetheless, you can just bet the minimum amounts and only play for fun, so it won't matter if you win or lose. 3) Blackjack Blackjack is the most complicated game by far. Simply because the player has to make a series of decisions, which will largely decide the outcome. Luckily, there is such a thing as an optimal strategy, which will be outlined below. However, the strategy is also dependent on the house rules. These not only affect your expected return, but in some places also your decisions. Here are the house rules at the Diamond casino: -The game uses 4 standard decks, and a continuous shuffle. -Blackjack pays 3 to 2, dealer checks for early blackjack. -No insurance offered, no surrender. -Dealer stands on soft 17. -Double down on any two cards. -Player can split only once, but doubling after split is allowed. -Seven-Card Charlie. Under these rules, and following the "basic strategy" chart, your expected return at Blackjack is a shade under 99.6%, which is extremely good for a casino game, that's why Blackjack should be your table game of choice. But it comes at a price: you are going to have to memorize the relatively complicated strategy chart, or at least stick it to your monitor until you have it in your head. But in case you ever stumble into a real-life casino, you won't regret having this table memorized, so I would definitely advise you to work on that. The strategy chart might look complicated at first, but you will be able to notice certain patterns. Your decisions are mainly based on the dealer's upcard, which is basically divided into a weak card (2 to 6), and a strong card (7 to ace). When a dealer shows a strong card, you will be hitting more often with the risk of going bust, but when a dealer shows a weak card, you're not taking that risk, and you will be standing more, but also doubling and splitting more. You want to increase your bets when the odds are in your favor, and get out cheap when they're not. But it also helps to take some time to think about why a certain advice is given. For example, why does it say that you always have to split two eights, even against an ace. Well, that's because two eights equals 16, which is the worst total you can have. It's better to split them up, and give yourself a chance of finding a 17, 18 or 19 with the next card. Once you see the logic in that, you'll have one less thing to memorize. The playing advice in the basic strategy chart is a result of computer simulations that ran all possible outcomes against each other, and produced the most profitable decision for each situation. So you can't go wrong following it. Optimal strategy for Blackjack with Seven-Card Charlie The added house rule of Seven-Card Charlie, adds a small advantage for the player, and it does influence a few strategy decisions. For example, you might have a 14 with 6 cards, against the dealer's 5 upcard. Normally this would be an automatic stand, but if you're only one card away from the Seven-Card Charlie, meaning an instant win for the player, regardless of the dealer's hand, it turns it into a hit. Here's the most optimal strategy chart to follow for the Diamond Casino house rules: https://prnt.sc/olct6g You'll see that two fives are missing from the chart, and that's because you never split them. You treat them as a regular 10. You also never split tens. Just stand on 20. If you follow this strategy religiously, even with a maximum wager of 50,000 chips, you only expect to lose about 215 chips per hand, and with rounds taking about 30 seconds, that amounts to an expected LOSS of 26,000 chips per hour, which is only half a bet. A small price to pay for an hour of entertainment. But since the expected return is so extremely close to 100%, you will see more positive short-term results than with other games. But obviously it can also swing the other way. Again, this is supposed to be the game where your money lasts you the longest, but always set your loss and win limits before you sit down. That rule simply always applies. Still, even with optimal strategies applied, all these games are expected to lose you money in the long run. So betting any kind of large amounts is not advised. If you simply want to enjoy playing these games, there's nothing wrong with betting a minimal amount. Playing these games for a longer period of time will already cost you money anyway, since your daily property fees will still be charged while you're playing in the GTA casino. As long as you can play for fun, there's nothing wrong, but when you see yourself betting insane chunks of your entire bank balance to try to recoup some unfortunate losses, you're doing it wrong. As the commercials in Britain all correctly say: when the fun stops, stop. 2) Virtual Horse Racing Now onto the good stuff. I ran some numbers, and I believe Rockstar has made a mistake with the horse racing game. Because as it stands, and if I read the numbers correctly, this game is actually profitable for the player. You can actually make money with this, at least, until Rockstar figures out their mistake and patches it. If anyone wants to jump into the math and double check this to make sure, please do so. I will add any corrections to this post. This is one of those "to good to be true" things, so I keep thinking that I might have overlooked something. So please verify it if you can. The setup is this. There is a pool of 100 horses, each with their own attached payout. These are divided into 3 groups, ranked by their odds. From each group, 2 horses are randomly selected to provide a pool of six runners for you to bet on. Now it's not an actual race you're looking at. You are looking at a raffle. This is important to realize. Each horse gets awarded a certain number of raffle tickets. The favorites get awarded more tickets than the underdogs, and therefore, have a higher chance of winning. If this distribution works like it does in the real-life casinos, then the raffle tickets are awarded according to the betting odds. Example 1: imagine a race with 3 runners, all have 2/1 odds, representing a 33.3% chance of winning. (Because 2/1 means 2 AGAINST 1, so 3 total.) In this case, each horse gets one third of the raffle tickets, giving them an equal chance to win. Example 2: imagine a race with 3 runners, one has 1/1 odds (or EVENS), representing a 50% chance of winning, and the other two horses are marked up as 3/1, with a 25% chance of winning. The favorite gets half the tickets, the other two get a quarter of the tickets each. A ticket is drawn, and you'll have a winner. It doesn't matter in this game which horse you bet on, because the expected return is always the same: 100% or break-even, for the above examples. Now, what happens if the percentages don't exactly add up to 100%? They must add up to 100%, because there will always be a winner. And only one winner. So when this is the case, the actual winning chances of the horses are adjusted to meet the 100% requirement, using their payout odds to determine the scale. So, if the represented percentages add up to more than 100%, the actual winning chances of the runners will be DECREASED, resulting in all bets becoming losing propositions for the players. Example: In a 6-horse race, all runners are listed at 4/1, representing a 20% chance. Only with six runners that amounts to 120%. So all chances are scaled down by 1/6th, to end up at 100%. This means your horse's chances are reduced from 20% to 16.67%, turning it into a losing bet: 5 times you will lose your bet, and 1 time you will win, but only get 4 bets back in this instance, instead of 5. A losing bet in the long run. This is the type of odds that you find in regular casinos, with fields as large as 15 runners to bet on, where the assumed winning chances always add up to more than 100%, therefore are decreased for all runners, resulting in a house edge. But in GTA Online's Inside Track, there are other scenarios, because of the small field, and the way that they are put together. In some cases, the represented percentages when added up, are LESS than 100%, meaning that the actual winning chances of all runners, are INCREASED. This creates profitable bets for the players, because in the long run, you're expecting to win more money than you lose. This is a gambler's dream, pure and simple. So, according to the in-game information, the three groups of horses are divided as follows: -Favorites: EVENS to 5-1 -Outsiders: 6-1 to 15-1 -Underdogs: 16-1 to 30-1 Let's take the two most extreme examples to show what's happening. The worst possible field to bet on: two runners at EVENS, two runners at 6-1, and two runners at 16-1. EVENS represents a 50% chance, 6-1 is 14.29%, and 16-1 is 5.88%. Add those up and you land on a total of 140.34%. This means that the actual winning chances of the horses are decreased by 28.75% (to get that 140% down to 100%), which makes betting on this field extremely unwise. A horse at EVENS will only come in as a winner 35.63% of the time, instead of 50%, a horse at 6-1 will only win 10.18% of the time, and an underdog at 16-1 will only win 4.19% of the time. The expected return on a bet on any of the horses in this field is only 71.26%, so a maximum bet of 10,000 chips on any of these horses holds an expected LOSS of 2,875 chips. These returns are the same, because the winning chances are scaled equally, according to the payout numbers. So it really doesn't matter which horse you bet on, in the long run, you expect the same results. But as explained before, it does influence variance, and therefore your short-term result, which can swing both ways. But now, the best possible field to bet on: two runners at 5-1, two runners at 15-1, and two runners at 30-1. Odds at 5-1 represents a winning chance of 16.67%, 15-1 odds means 6.25% chance, and 30-1 odds means a 3.23% chance of winning. Add these six horses together, and you only get 52.285%. This means that, to get from 52% to 100%, the actual winning chances of these horses will be almost doubled! Multiplied by 1.91 to be exact. So the 5-1 favorites will now win 31.88% of the time, instead of 16.67%, the 15-1 runners will win 11.95% of the time, and the underdogs at 30-1 odds will still win 6.17% of the time. When betting on this field, the expected return on your bet is 191.25%! This means that a max bet of 10,000 chips will result in an expected PROFIT of 9,125 chips. This is printing money, if there ever was such a thing. Optimal strategy for Virtual Horse racing So all you have to do, is only bet high on the games where you have an expected positive return, and bet the absolute minimum on the games where your expected return is negative. Or back out of the racing game to refresh the field. If you don't have a way to quickly add up all the percentages, and until somebody shows up here with a neatly formatted table, just use a few general rules of thumb: -Always bet the maximum on a race with favorites at 2/1 and 3/1 or higher in it. -Simply skip all races with two favorites at EVENS in it, and at EVENS and 2/1. Or bet the minimum, if you can't skip or refresh the field. -To decide if you should play races with other favorite combinations EVENS and 3/1, EVENS and 4/1, EVENS and 5/1, or two favorites at 2/1, the payouts on the other four runners determine whether or not it's profitable to play them. The results of betting on these fields vary from an expected 1,330 chip loss (worst-case) to an expected 1,680 chip win (best-case), with a max bet of 10,000 chips. But if you're not looking for another strategy chart, you might just want to skip these borderline cases, and just cherry pick the best ones, which are easy to recognize, and with which you can never go wrong. It's difficult to put a number on an expected win-rate, because it all depends on which fields you get presented with, but it's not unreasonable to state that you can maintain a steady win-rate of around 200,000 chips per hour, with about 50 seconds per race. Remember, you're not trying to win every race. You're trying to win the most money per hour. So don't sweat it when you bet on a 4/1 favorite, and lose a couple of races in a row. It will still be more profitable in the long run. You have the math on your side. To reduce negative variance, always bet on the favorite, when betting on profitable fields. We're not gambling anymore, we're grinding out a steady profit. We want to keep the swings to a minimum. I contacted Rockstar support to verify if this is indeed how it works, but the only reply I got after 6 weeks is that they were "looking into it". User u/Garsant made a useful Excel-worksheet, available for you to download, where you can quickly type in the payouts on the horses, to see if it produces a profitable bet or not. You can find it in his post here: https://www.reddit.com/gtaonline/comments/ekp8na/gta_online_inside_track_odd_calculato 1) Wheel of Fortune The number one profitable casino game in GTA Online is obviously the Wheel of Fortune, because it costs you nothing to play. Unfortunately, you only get one free spin per day, but it holds great value, so make sure you do it. With a chance to win a super car, vehicle discounts, expensive mystery prizes (which also can be vehicles), and a lot of cash and chips, the expected return on a single spin is around $100,000 in value. So don't forget your daily spin, it's definitely worth your time. 2020 Update: As of the Diamond Casino Heist update, the Inside Track horse racing is confirmed to still be as profitable as outlined above.The only thing that seems to be changed, is that you can't refresh the field anymore by backing out of the screen. This does affect your hourly rate in a negative way, but does not change the fact that this game has a huge positive expected return, and should be your go-to when you're trying to take money from the house, without having Lester's nagging voice in your ear. That should also be worth something. And with that, I conclude my 5,000 word essay on gambling in GTA. Questions, comments, feel free to add your input to this guide. Cliffs: -Gambling games should only be played for fun, not for big money. You should expect to lose in the long run. The house always wins. -A casino game doesn't have a memory, and betting systems don't work. -Set your limits before you start, how much you are willing to lose or win, and then walk away when you get there. -Don't play slots, roulette, or three card poker. -Only play blackjack following a basic strategy chart (https://prnt.sc/olct6g). -Inside Track betting can be played profitably, if you only bet on fields WITHOUT a heavy favorite. -Wheel of Fortune is always your best bet, because it's a free bet.
Ultimate Gambling Guide for GTA Online - odds, probabilities, and optimal strategies
This is not mine, the creator of this is u/enderpiet Since the Diamond Casino update, I have seen a large number of 12-year-olds posting Blackjack memes on this sub. As a parent, this has me very worried. On top of that, I have seen some of the most trustworthy GTA Youtubers giving flawed gambling advice, which can have damaging impact on their gullible audiences. So that's why I decided to write this up, to educate everyone on the subject, so there will be no more misunderstandings. (2020 Update down at the bottom.) If you're one of those Youtubers that wants to use this information in a video, feel free to do so. The more people (especially kids) that become educated about gambling, the better. But then also please go back and review your own work, and delete or edit the videos that are giving out the wrong advice, like where you're saying you have "a good strategy for making money with roulette", or some other nonsense that I've heard this week. Delete that please. Before I get into the individual games, I need to discuss a few concepts first, that will make understanding the rest a lot easier. Expected return and variance A game like Roulette or Slots has a fixed expected return on your bets. This is a percentage that you have no way of influencing. Say you are flipping a coin against a friend, and you both put up $1. The winner gets the pot. Since the odds are even at 50%, in the long run, you will expect to break even. Your expected return is 100% of your bet. But imagine if you would play this coin flipping game in a casino against the house. On the "house rules" listed at the table they would probably say that you would only get 95 cents back for every win, while you are forfeiting a dollar on every loss. Would you still play? Sounds stupid to do so, but still, everybody does it. Every bet they place on Roulette, every coin they put into a Slot machine, is based on the same concept. Those few cents they take on every bet are their profit margin, and has paid for all the Vegas lights, the Mirage volcanoes, and the Bellagio fountains. Make no mistake - casino gambling games are not designed to make you lose, because sure, you can get lucky on a single night, but they are designed to make them win. That's the beauty of it. They can both exist at the same time. Too many people that don't see how this works, are just destined for disaster. Just because you went on a lucky streak and won 8 games out of 10, does not mean that flipping coins is a profitable game, or that choosing tails is a winning strategy. Always be aware of the house edge, your true chances of winning, and just realize that you got lucky. There is no such thing as a strategy in flipping a coin that will give you a higher expected return, so it's just pure gambling, just like Slots and Roulette. Most casino games are made in such a way, that your expected return is a little under 100%. This means that from every dollar bet at the tables, the casino expects to keep a few cents. For individual players, results may vary. Some will win, most will lose. But for the house, it doesn't matter. They take millions of bets each day, so for them, the expected average works out a lot sooner. In short: the house always wins. When looking at the house edge, we're talking about the expected long-term result, based on the game's house rules. But for a player, it can take literally tens of thousands of hands or spins before you also reach this average number. Until that time, you can experience huge upswings and downswings, that are the result of nothing but short-term luck, which is called variance. Some games and some bets have a much higher variance than others, which means your actual results will differ enormously from what you're expected to be at. Take for example betting on red/black at the Roulette table. This is a low-variance proposition, because it has a high percentage chance of occurring, and a low payout. Contrast this with betting single numbers in Roulette, which only win once every 38 spins on average. This bet has a much higher variance, meaning you can easily hit a dry spell, and not hit anything for 200 bets in a row, or you can see a single number hit three times in five consecutive spins. This is not a freak occurrence in high-variance bets. Even though the expected return in both these bets is exactly the same, there's a huge difference in variance, causing massive differences in short-term results, which can go both ways. You need to be aware of this, before you decide what types of bets you are comfortable with placing. Gamblers' Fallacy Another thing to realize, is that each individual game, hand, or spin, is completely independent from the one(s) before it, and after it. Gamblers tend to believe, that the chance of a certain outcome is increased, based on previous results. The most famous example comes from the Casino de Monte Carlo, where the Roulette wheel managed to land on black 26 times in a row. Gamblers lost many millions during that streak, all frantically betting on red, believing that the odds were in favor of the wheel coming out on red, after producing so many blacks. This is not true. Each round is completely independent, and the odds are exactly the same. You will hear people say things like a Blackjack table being "hot" or "cold", which is completely superstitious, and should be ignored. The exception was when Blackjack was being dealt from a shoe. It made card counting possible. But with the introduction of shuffle machines, and continuous shuffling like is being used in GTA, this no longer exists. This is also why "chasing your losses" is a very bad idea. After being on a losing streak for some time, many gamblers believe that now it's their turn to start winning. So they will often increase their bet size, believing that when their predicted winning streak comes around, they will win back their losses, and more. The reality of it, more often than not, is that people will indeed start playing higher and higher limits, until they are completely broke. Nobody is ever "due for a win". There is never a guarantee that you're about to start winning. In fact, the opposite is more likely to be true. You are, after all, in a casino. Betting systems Some people like to think that they have a fool-proof betting system, like the Martingale system. Simply increase or even double your bet when you lose, and keep doing that until you win. In theory, this system will always win. So that's why table limits were introduced, and where the system fails. If you start at the Roulette table, playing red/black, with a small 750 chip wager, and just double your bet every time you lose, you only have to lose 6 times in a row, before you will be betting the table limit of 48,000, just to get that 750 chip profit. Sure, you can go on all evening without this happening, winning 750 chips each time, but this losing streak only has to happen once, and you're bust. Any betting system like this is ill-advised, because you are hugely increasing your so-called "risk of ruin", and that's what we were trying to avoid. And even if your starting bet is only 100 chips, after only nine straight losses, and nine doubled bets, you are betting the table limit at 50,000 chips. If you lose that bet, you're 100,000 chips in the hole, with no way to recover that with your 100 chip base wager. So don't believe anyone that says this is the perfect system to always win in the casino. Sooner or later they will understand why they were wrong, when they're asking you for a loan. Set your limits BEFORE you start playing One final point before we get into the games, a general tip for people that head out to play: money management. Just like in real life, before you go to the casino, decide on a maximum amount that you are WILLING TO LOSE. Bet small enough, so that amount can last you through the entire evening, and you will not be tempted to run to the ATM to continue playing. Considering GTA money, some people will be comfortable losing 1% of their GTA bank balance, some people will be comfortable with gambling away 5% of their total GTA savings. It's up to you what you can handle. Decide for yourself where it will start to hurt, and don't cross that line. But whatever number you decide on, as soon as you lost that amount, get up and walk away. Don't chase your losses, stick to your limits, and accept that this has not been your day. There is always another game tomorrow. Always agree with yourself on a simple stop-loss rule, how much you would want to lose at most, and simply stop playing when you get there. Same goes for winning. You can decide on a number, how much profit you would like to take away from the casino. You can go on a hot streak and be up half a million in a short period of time, but if you would continue to play longer, looking for more, chances are that you're going to lose it all back. Most people are happy with doubling their daily casino budget, for example. Others are looking for 10 bets profit in Blackjack. Whatever you choose, when you hit that number, you can stop playing and bank your profits, or you can continue playing if you're still enjoying the games, but then only just play minimum bet sizes. Then you're just playing for fun, not for money. You've already made your profit, so simply keep it in your pocket, and don't risk losing it again. Either way, decide on what your money management strategy will be, and STICK TO IT. Casino games in GTA Online Now, I'm going to dive into the games that you can find at the Diamond casino, ordered from worst to best. 6) Slots Generally the rule is this: the less strategy a game has, the worse it is for the player. And with slots, this is definitely the case. The only influence you have, is choosing what type of machine you're going to play. Basically, there are two types of slot machines: -high frequency, low payout slots -low frequency, high payout slots In the first type, there is no huge (progressive) jackpot on offer, just your average selection of prizes that don't go up to crazy amounts. This will result in a player having many more spins resulting in a win. The amounts that you win on the bigger prizes, will be smaller, but they do come around more often. This type of slot machine has a lower variance, which means that your money should last you longer, winning many smaller prizes along the way to keep you going. The second type of slot machine lures you in with the temptation of a huge jackpot prize. Even though the long-term expected return on these machines is the same as the previous type, the prize distribution is hugely different. The large jackpot prize weighs heavily on the scale of expected return, but the chance of it hitting is extremely small. This results in a much higher variance on this type of machine. Usually your money will go down very fast, because the smaller prizes are less rewarding than on the other type of machine. At the Diamond, the info screen says the player return at slots is set at 98.7%. This means that, on average, for every maximum bet of 2,500 chips, you expect to lose 32.5 chips. This might not seem like a lot, but the danger of slots is that the game is extremely fast. You can spin about once every 6 seconds, which would result in an expected LOSS of about 20,000 chips per hour of playing. But again, in this long-term expected number, the large jackpot awards are also factored in, and as long as you don't hit those big prizes, you'll see your money go down a lot faster. In any case, thank heavens the max bet is only set at 2,500, or else we would see more players go bankrupt at alarming rates. Optimal strategy for slots: There is none. Because after betting, you have no more influence over the outcome. The only choices you have, is what type of machine you want to play at, and how much money you are going to risk. And those are all personal preference. As long as you stick to your loss limits, as discussed above, there's no harm in having a go every once in a while, hoping to get a lucky hit. Just realize that you don't have a high chance of scoring a big win, so as soon as you do, get up and walk away. 5) Roulette Roulette is also a game where you have no influence over the outcome. There is zero skill involved. You place your bet, and that's it. In traditional French roulette, a table has only the single-zero, but of course, for American casinos that wasn't enough of a house edge, so they simply doubled their profits by adding a second zero. The house edge was increased from 1/37 to 1/19, which is huge. This makes playing on a double-zero roulette table by definition a sucker's play. The payouts scale evenly, which means that a bet on a single number, and a bet on half of the numbers, and everything in between, yields the same expected return. The only difference, again, being the variance that you are willing to subject yourself to. The player return for double-zero Roulette for all bets is 94.74%. Except for the 5-number bet, which can only be made by placing a bet on the two top rows that contain 0, 00, 1, 2 and 3. The expected return on this bet is lower: 92.1%. This is because it only pays out 6-1. Why? Well, the number 36 isn't divisible by 5, so the greedy people that came up with double-zero Roulette had to round it off someway, and as expected, it wasn't going to be in the players' favor.Just remember that that 5-number bet is the worst bet at the table, and should be avoided. All other possible bets have the same expected return. So it really doesn't matter how you spread your bets, if you bet only one chip, or if you litter the entire table with a bucketload of chips. Each chip you put out there, has the same expected return, so there is no strategy that will improve your long-term results. Assuming that you're betting the maximum table amount of 50,000 chips, you will be looking at an expected loss of about 2,630 chips per spin. Considering that a round takes about 45 seconds to complete, your expected LOSS at the GTA Roulette tables will be around 200,000 chips per hour of playing. Optimal strategy for double-zero roulette: Stay away. Stay far away. 4) Three Card Poker With Three Card Poker, we come across the first game where there is actually some strategy involved. You get to look at your cards, and then decide if you want to fold, and surrender your ante, or double your bet. Additionally, you can choose to place a side bet on "Pair Plus", which offers progressive payouts. There are some websites out there that ran all the numbers with computer simulations, and even though I would like to quote the source here, these websites are understandably littered to the max with online casino ads, so that's why I have decided against doing that. Optimal strategy for Three Card Poker: For this game you only have to remember one strategy rule: Always bet on any high card queen-six-four or better, and fold any high card queen-six-three or lower. That's it. Just don't forget to double check if you're not folding a straight or a flush, and you'll be fine. This strategy will result in an expected return of 96.63%. The Pair Plus sidebet, with the payout table that is used at the Diamond casino, gives you an expected return of 97.68%, which is actually a bit better than the main ante bet. So by playing both wagers, you're reducing your expected losses per bet, but since you're betting more, you're also increasing your expected loss per hour. My advice would obviously be to not play this game at all, but if you do, put as much of your bet as possible on the Pair Plus, while making our Ante bet as small as you can. To be able to compare it to the other games at the Diamond, let's stay on that 50,000 maximum wager, meaning making your ante bet 35,000, and your pair plus bet 15,000, if the table would allow it. This results in an expected loss of about 1,525 chips per hand, and with a round taking about 45 seconds, this adds up to an expected LOSS of around 120,000 chips per hour of playing. In comparison, if you would only play the ante bet for 50,000 per hand, you expect to lose 1,685 chips per hand, which means an expected LOSS of about 135,000 chips per hour. So the more out of that 50,000 wager you can put on the "Pair Plus" sidebet, the better. Even though it may be fun to try out this game for a bit, since there's only one simple strategy rule to follow, you'll soon find yourself robotically grinding down your bankroll until it has vaporized. You're not missing out on anything if you skip these tables, there is no real challenge. Just like with Roulette and Slots, if you want to try it out nonetheless, you can just bet the minimum amounts and only play for fun, so it won't matter if you win or lose. 3) Blackjack Blackjack is the most complicated game by far. Simply because the player has to make a series of decisions, which will largely decide the outcome. Luckily, there is such a thing as an optimal strategy, which will be outlined below. However, the strategy is also dependent on the house rules. These not only affect your expected return, but in some places also your decisions. Here are the house rules at the Diamond casino: -The game uses 4 standard decks, and a continuous shuffle. -Blackjack pays 3 to 2, dealer checks for early blackjack. -No insurance offered, no surrender. -Dealer stands on soft 17. -Double down on any two cards. -Player can split only once, but doubling after split is allowed. -Seven-Card Charlie. Under these rules, and following the "basic strategy" chart, your expected return at Blackjack is a shade under 99.6%, which is extremely good for a casino game, that's why Blackjack should be your table game of choice. But it comes at a price: you are going to have to memorize the relatively complicated strategy chart, or at least stick it to your monitor until you have it in your head. But in case you ever stumble into a real-life casino, you won't regret having this table memorized, so I would definitely advise you to work on that. The strategy chart might look complicated at first, but you will be able to notice certain patterns. Your decisions are mainly based on the dealer's upcard, which is basically divided into a weak card (2 to 6), and a strong card (7 to ace). When a dealer shows a strong card, you will be hitting more often with the risk of going bust, but when a dealer shows a weak card, you're not taking that risk, and you will be standing more, but also doubling and splitting more. You want to increase your bets when the odds are in your favor, and get out cheap when they're not. But it also helps to take some time to think about why a certain advice is given. For example, why does it say that you always have to split two eights, even against an ace. Well, that's because two eights equals 16, which is the worst total you can have. It's better to split them up, and give yourself a chance of finding a 17, 18 or 19 with the next card. Once you see the logic in that, you'll have one less thing to memorize. The playing advice in the basic strategy chart is a result of computer simulations that ran all possible outcomes against each other, and produced the most profitable decision for each situation. So you can't go wrong following it. Optimal strategy for Blackjack with Seven-Card Charlie The added house rule of Seven-Card Charlie, adds a small advantage for the player, and it does influence a few strategy decisions. For example, you might have a 14 with 6 cards, against the dealer's 5 upcard. Normally this would be an automatic stand, but if you're only one card away from the Seven-Card Charlie, meaning an instant win for the player, regardless of the dealer's hand, it turns it into a hit. Here's the most optimal strategy chart to follow for the Diamond Casino house rules:https://prnt.sc/olct6g You'll see that two fives are missing from the chart, and that's because you never split them. You treat them as a regular 10. You also never split tens. Just stand on 20. If you follow this strategy religiously, even with a maximum wager of 50,000 chips, you only expect to lose about 215 chips per hand, and with rounds taking about 30 seconds, that amounts to an expected LOSS of 26,000 chips per hour, which is only half a bet. A small price to pay for an hour of entertainment. But since the expected return is so extremely close to 100%, you will see more positive short-term results than with other games. But obviously it can also swing the other way. Again, this is supposed to be the game where your money lasts you the longest, but always set your loss and win limits before you sit down. That rule simply always applies. Still, even with optimal strategies applied, all these games are expected to lose you money in the long run. So betting any kind of large amounts is not advised. If you simply want to enjoy playing these games, there's nothing wrong with betting a minimal amount. Playing these games for a longer period of time will already cost you money anyway, since your daily property fees will still be charged while you're playing in the GTA casino. As long as you can play for fun, there's nothing wrong, but when you see yourself betting insane chunks of your entire bank balance to try to recoup some unfortunate losses, you're doing it wrong. As the commercials in Britain all correctly say: when the fun stops, stop. 2) Virtual Horse Racing Now onto the good stuff. I ran some numbers, and I believe Rockstar has made a mistake with the horse racing game. Because as it stands, and if I read the numbers correctly, this game is actually profitable for the player. You can actually make money with this, at least, until Rockstar figures out their mistake and patches it. If anyone wants to jump into the math and double check this to make sure, please do so. I will add any corrections to this post. This is one of those "to good to be true" things, so I keep thinking that I might have overlooked something. So please verify it if you can. The setup is this. There is a pool of 100 horses, each with their own attached payout. These are divided into 3 groups, ranked by their odds. From each group, 2 horses are randomly selected to provide a pool of six runners for you to bet on. Now it's not an actual race you're looking at. You are looking at a raffle. This is important to realize. Each horse gets awarded a certain number of raffle tickets. The favorites get awarded more tickets than the underdogs, and therefore, have a higher chance of winning. If this distribution works like it does in the real-life casinos, then the raffle tickets are awarded according to the betting odds. Example 1: imagine a race with 3 runners, all have 2/1 odds, representing a 33.3% chance of winning. (Because 2/1 means 2 AGAINST 1, so 3 total.) In this case, each horse gets one third of the raffle tickets, giving them an equal chance to win. Example 2: imagine a race with 3 runners, one has 1/1 odds (or EVENS), representing a 50% chance of winning, and the other two horses are marked up as 3/1, with a 25% chance of winning. The favorite gets half the tickets, the other two get a quarter of the tickets each. A ticket is drawn, and you'll have a winner. It doesn't matter in this game which horse you bet on, because the expected return is always the same: 100% or break-even, for the above examples. Now, what happens if the percentages don't exactly add up to 100%? They must add up to 100%, because there will always be a winner. And only one winner. So when this is the case, the actual winning chances of the horses are adjusted to meet the 100% requirement, using their payout odds to determine the scale. So, if the represented percentages add up to more than 100%, the actual winning chances of the runners will be DECREASED, resulting in all bets becoming losing propositions for the players. Example: In a 6-horse race, all runners are listed at 4/1, representing a 20% chance. Only with six runners that amounts to 120%. So all chances are scaled down by 1/6th, to end up at 100%. This means your horse's chances are reduced from 20% to 16.67%, turning it into a losing bet: 5 times you will lose your bet, and 1 time you will win, but only get 4 bets back in this instance, instead of 5. A losing bet in the long run. This is the type of odds that you find in regular casinos, with fields as large as 15 runners to bet on, where the assumed winning chances always add up to more than 100%, therefore are decreased for all runners, resulting in a house edge. But in GTA Online's Inside Track, there are other scenarios, because of the small field, and the way that they are put together. In some cases, the represented percentages when added up, are LESS than 100%, meaning that the actual winning chances of all runners, are INCREASED. This creates profitable bets for the players, because in the long run, you're expecting to win more money than you lose. This is a gambler's dream, pure and simple. So, according to the in-game information, the three groups of horses are divided as follows: -Favorites: EVENS to 5-1 -Outsiders: 6-1 to 15-1 -Underdogs: 16-1 to 30-1 Let's take the two most extreme examples to show what's happening. The worst possible field to bet on: two runners at EVENS, two runners at 6-1, and two runners at 16-1. EVENS represents a 50% chance, 6-1 is 14.29%, and 16-1 is 5.88%. Add those up and you land on a total of 140.34%. This means that the actual winning chances of the horses are decreased by 28.75% (to get that 140% down to 100%), which makes betting on this field extremely unwise. A horse at EVENS will only come in as a winner 35.63% of the time, instead of 50%, a horse at 6-1 will only win 10.18% of the time, and an underdog at 16-1 will only win 4.19% of the time. The expected return on a bet on any of the horses in this field is only 71.26%, so a maximum bet of 10,000 chips on any of these horses holds an expected LOSS of 2,875 chips. These returns are the same, because the winning chances are scaled equally, according to the payout numbers. So it really doesn't matter which horse you bet on, in the long run, you expect the same results. But as explained before, it does influence variance, and therefore your short-term result, which can swing both ways. But now, the best possible field to bet on: two runners at 5-1, two runners at 15-1, and two runners at 30-1. Odds at 5-1 represents a winning chance of 16.67%, 15-1 odds means 6.25% chance, and 30-1 odds means a 3.23% chance of winning. Add these six horses together, and you only get 52.285%. This means that, to get from 52% to 100%, the actual winning chances of these horses will be almost doubled! Multiplied by 1.91 to be exact. So the 5-1 favorites will now win 31.88% of the time, instead of 16.67%, the 15-1 runners will win 11.95% of the time, and the underdogs at 30-1 odds will still win 6.17% of the time. When betting on this field, the expected return on your bet is 191.25%! This means that a max bet of 10,000 chips will result in an expected PROFIT of 9,125 chips. This is printing money, if there ever was such a thing. Optimal strategy for Virtual Horse racing So all you have to do, is only bet high on the games where you have an expected positive return, and bet the absolute minimum on the games where your expected return is negative. Or back out of the racing game to refresh the field. If you don't have a way to quickly add up all the percentages, and until somebody shows up here with a neatly formatted table, just use a few general rules of thumb: -Always bet the maximum on a race with favorites at 2/1 and 3/1 or higher in it. -Simply skip all races with two favorites at EVENS in it, and at EVENS and 2/1. Or bet the minimum, if you can't skip or refresh the field. -To decide if you should play races with other favorite combinations EVENS and 3/1, EVENS and 4/1, EVENS and 5/1, or two favorites at 2/1, the payouts on the other four runners determine whether or not it's profitable to play them. The results of betting on these fields vary from an expected 1,330 chip loss (worst-case) to an expected 1,680 chip win (best-case), with a max bet of 10,000 chips. But if you're not looking for another strategy chart, you might just want to skip these borderline cases, and just cherry pick the best ones, which are easy to recognize, and with which you can never go wrong. It's difficult to put a number on an expected win-rate, because it all depends on which fields you get presented with, but it's not unreasonable to state that you can maintain a steady win-rate of around 200,000 chips per hour, with about 50 seconds per race. Remember, you're not trying to win every race. You're trying to win the most money per hour. So don't sweat it when you bet on a 4/1 favorite, and lose a couple of races in a row. It will still be more profitable in the long run. You have the math on your side. To reduce negative variance, always bet on the favorite, when betting on profitable fields. We're not gambling anymore, we're grinding out a steady profit. We want to keep the swings to a minimum. I contacted Rockstar support to verify if this is indeed how it works, but the only reply I got after 6 weeks is that they were "looking into it". User u/Garsant made a useful Excel-worksheet, available for you to download, where you can quickly type in the payouts on the horses, to see if it produces a profitable bet or not. You can find it in his post here: https://www.reddit.com/gtaonline/comments/ekp8na/gta_online_inside_track_odd_calculato 1) Wheel of Fortune The number one profitable casino game in GTA Online is obviously the Wheel of Fortune, because it costs you nothing to play. Unfortunately, you only get one free spin per day, but it holds great value, so make sure you do it. With a chance to win a super car, vehicle discounts, expensive mystery prizes (which also can be vehicles), and a lot of cash and chips, the expected return on a single spin is around $100,000 in value. So don't forget your daily spin, it's definitely worth your time. 2020 Update: As of the Diamond Casino Heist update, the Inside Track horse racing is confirmed to still be as profitable as outlined above.The only thing that seems to be changed, is that you can't refresh the field anymore by backing out of the screen. This does affect your hourly rate in a negative way, but does not change the fact that this game has a huge positive expected return, and should be your go-to when you're trying to take money from the house, without having Lester's nagging voice in your ear. That should also be worth something. And with that, I conclude my 5,000 word essay on gambling in GTA. Questions, comments, feel free to add your input to this guide. Cliffs: -Gambling games should only be played for fun, not for big money. You should expect to lose in the long run. The house always wins. -A casino game doesn't have a memory, and betting systems don't work. -Set your limits before you start, how much you are willing to lose or win, and then walk away when you get there. -Don't play slots, roulette, or three card poker. -Only play blackjack following a basic strategy chart (https://prnt.sc/olct6g). -Inside Track betting can be played profitably, if you only bet on fields WITHOUT a heavy favorite. -Wheel of Fortune is always your best bet, because it's a free bet.
How's it going Nosleep? Sorry about not updating yesterday, I had a massive fucking migraine and couldn't even walk, let alone type up an entire update. In case you missed them, here's Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 Thanks for all the support and what not, I do read each message even though I don't have a chance to reply to all of them. Anyways here we go. I was sitting on top of the boulder and I had just taken a shot at Mike who was standing in front of the ATM. I forgot to mention during the last update that he had a mask on when he got out of the car. I could tell it was him though with his suit and body shape. I took a shot at him and he fell into the machine. I proceeded to shoot out the back tires on his Chrysler 300 to trap him. He was now a sitting duck with no where to run. He then went onto the passenger side of the car and dove through the window. I didn't know what he was doing, he obviously knew that his car was fucked with the back 2 tires gone. He put it into reverse with the back rims grinding against the pavement. Then the car flipped around with the headlights pointing towards me. He gunned the car across the road and started hauling dick towards me. I shot a few times at the front windshield but the bullets seemed to not go though. I now figure that he had some sort of light bullet proof glass or something of the sort. The car had now hit the desert still accelerating. About 100 yards out from the boulder I was perched on I saw the drivers side door open and him bail out. I shot once at him but missed. As soon as I took that shot I jumped off the boulder right by my ATV. About 2 or 3 seconds after I did, I heard a huge explosion and saw a gigantic flash of light envelope the dark desert. I started up the ATV and slung the P-90 over my shoulder. As I rounded the boulder I saw Mike's car engulfed in flames. I flew past it searching for him with my 9mm out. He was no where in sight. I gunned it to the bank and ran up to the ATM he was just at. The weird electronic device with wires hanging out of it was still stuck in it. I grabbed it and took off. I guess he forgot it in all the commotion. I took off towards my car still trying to look for Mike in the desert as I passed by it. Again he was nowhere to be seen. I took off my ski mask and put it in my pocket as I was speeding down the street. I was pissed I had let him get away, it wasn't going to be easy to get another chance like the one I just had. As I arrived at my car I heard sirens in the distance. I knew I couldn't just leave the ATV out in the open for the cops to find, so I found some bushes on the edge of the park. I took some wet wipes I had in my backpack and wiped off the handle bars and a few other spots where I thought my prints would be. I ran as quickly as I could after hiding the ATV and got into my car. As I was driving away I could hear more and more sirens in the distance. I hauled ass out of the area in order to not be linked with what had just happened. It was about a half hour later I finally arrived back at my hotel, exhausted and angry that I missed my chance. I pulled the devise that I had just gotten out of my pocket and started doing some research. I didn't find much on the outerweb, but on the dark net I found some similar devises. They were apparently for hacking into ATM's and pulling money out of peoples accounts. I needed to figure out what he was doing this thing and so I drove to a near by coffee shop and used their wifi. I checked my bank account and saw several thousand dollars missing from my account. All of the transactions were in thousand dollar increments, one day after another. It blew my mind, they were taking money slowly out of my account in order to bankrupt me to slow me down. This just pissed me off more than anything, you weren't playing this game very fairly Mike, what ever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I went back to my hotel, and crashed. When I awoke it was already day time, around 10 AM. I finally got a good nights rest, god knows I needed it. I sat up in the bed thinking. Technically Mike was it now, and I figured he was a bit pissed that I caught him by surprise. Oh, and on top of that he destroyed his car to get away from me, and he probably had to walk for hours and hours back to his hotel, or call a taxi. It made me smile that I put him though all of that. He really went through a lot to get out of that situation, I mean shit his god damn car was rigged with fucking explosives just in case he was put in a situation like that. It dawned on me that I wouldn't know what vehicle he was in now, which would make my life that much harder. He could be in any vehicle at any time, which sucked. I just sat on the edge of my bed thinking about all of this, and there was a knock on the door. My adrenaline was pumping again. I heard a key card get put into the slot, and the door handle giggled a bit before opening. I grabbed my Glock and chambered a round, and dove beside my bed. The door was caught by the chain lock. I looked up to see a little Mexican housekeeper looking at me. I put the gun behind my back and stood up. "House keeping." she said while looking at me. "No thank you come back later." I said to her. She shut the door and I hear her walking away. I had a huge sigh of relief and unchambered the round. Fuck lady, you could of been shot, weren't they supposed to say "House keeping" before they open the fucking door? I sat back down on the bed and slid my hands over my forehead and through my hair. I could tell my body was having a hard time with all this shit going down. I got up and took another shower. I stayed in that night and ordered takeout. The next day I switched motels, and chilled out. I took another few days to chill out and recoup from everything that had happened. On the 3rd day in this new hotel, I knew I needed to get to the end of this game. After a few hours of pacing in my room, and not coming up with a single fucking idea and stressed as all hell because I couldn't come up with anything, I decided I'd go down to the strip and play a little poker to get my mind off everything. I went down to the Flamingo Hotel and started to play a little bit. After a few hours of playing and winning a good amount I decided it was time to pack it up and quit while I was ahead. I cashed out my chips and headed out to walk the strip for a bit. It was so crowded and crawling with cops I knew even Mike wasn't going to take the chance trying to shoot me here. As I was walking I noticed the Bellagio fountains started up. I stood across the street admiring them, and it took my mind off everything that was going on for a brief moment. As soon as my mind got side tracked with the beauty of the jets dancing around one another, I saw something that shocked me to my very core. There was Mike walking in between a thick crowd of on lookers watching the fountains. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Out of all the people in this whole fucking city, there's the one person that I was looking for right in front of me. He hadn't noticed me at all so I started trailing behind him on the other side of the street. I lowered my baseball cap and kept watching him, always a few feet behind so he wouldn't see me. He eventually made his way to that Aria Hotel, and walked in. I waited about a minute and walked in. Just as I had I saw him make his way to the room elevators. No fucking way, I knew where he was staying. It was a one in a million, but something out there gave me a break and put him right in front of me. I walked up to the lobby receptionist and gave her some bullshit story about how me and my buddy got separated, and I needed his room number to check if he was there. She asked for his first and last name and I gave it to her. She typed some things into her computer and gave me a room number. I couldn't of gotten more lucky. The more I thought about it the more sense it made. If I were him, I'd want to stay in one of the most crowded hotels in Vegas, makes getting found a lot harder. I thanked her for the information and took off. I made my way back to my car and drove back to my motel. I got in and took out one of my spare manila envelopes. I put the ATM hacker gizmo in it and a note that said "Red Rock Canyon, 6 PM, 2 days from now, take Scenic Loop Dr. to White Rock Mountain Rd. and turn right. Keep driving until the road turns to dirt and keep going some more. You'll see an older car parked on the side of the road. I'll be waiting, you're it ;)." I ran back to the Aria with the envelope and room number in hand. I took the elevator up to his room, a nice suite. I wrote 'Mike' on the front of it, and took out some tape that I had, stuck two pieces to the envelope and stuck it to his door as fast as I could without making any noise. Hopefully no one would take it. This was my only chance to finally finish all of this. I ran back down to the casino floor and got to my car. As soon as I got back to my room, I started to prepare. I took out my 50 cal and started to clean it, from barrel to butt. I couldn't fuck this up like the last time. I started to put the gun back together, and there it was again, that big ol' smile had come back to my face. Alright guys, this is almost the end and there'll be either 1 or 2 more parts to this series. Again sorry for not updating sooner, and I will for sure update tomorrow, you have my word. Again thanks for reading, until next time nosleep.
Hello!! I posted a couple months back with questions about my upcoming Vegas stay with my two kids (ages 9 and 11). We just got back and everyone’s advice here was so helpful. So, thank you!! Here is my report on some of the most pressing questions I had in case it’s of any use to any future travelers. Hotel - We did end up staying at the MGM Grand. It was OK, but there was no in-room mini fridge or coffee maker, making (economical) snacking and early mornings a bit tougher. Also, the pool area was fun, but the lazy river is currently not operating (no notice and no explanation why) and the pool area is a LONG walk from the rooms. Also, and this sub warned me, it’s too far south and away from where we really wanted to be for most of our experiences. Wish we had been more central so a quick trip to something outside the hotel did t seem like a total journey. Transportation - Just UbeLyft everywhere. We spent the whole first day doing the monorail and we spent a majority of that time walking to/from the stations and getting tired just getting to our ultimate destinations. Once we figured out ride share locations, it was a game changer and made everything a lot faster and easier. Most of our rides were like $6, and monorail passes for the 4 of us for 24 hours were $52, so probably cheaper in the end just to Lyft/Uber. Smoke - So, it’s definitely there. One thing I didn’t like about the MGM was the smoke seemed much more prevalent than in the newer casinos, which is another reason I’d probably pick a different hotel with kids. The other thing is just being constantly on guard. I went full mamma bear once when a drunk guy smoking a cigarette tried to get on an elevator with me and my kids. I’d really like to see more places be smoke free, it just seems unnecessary and has got to do serious damage to all the people that work in the casinos. Dining - The Secret Pizza recommendation was a great success and an awesome way for us to explore with a destination in mind that first day. We also did the buffet at the Bellagio for breakfast and Morimoto. For our last dinner. The buffet was super impressive for the kids, and I enjoyed it as well. Morimoto was expensive, I’ll leave it at that. We had fun just trying new things as they came across our path - it’s definitely an amazing foodie destination. Other hits with the kids during the trip:
The Hershey’s store in New York New York - OMG, had to drag them out of there after plying them with chocolate.
The conservatory at the Bellagio.
The High Roller - we went at night and got to watch the Bellagio fountain show from up high. Found out later that you get a significant discount with any purchase at the Flamingo, just FYI.
The cupcake ATM at the Sprinkles cupcake shop at the Linq - beat the line and watch automation in action!
The Milk Bar at the Cosmo - actually, that whole hotel we were pretty impressed with.
The strawberry tart at the Madeline Cafe in the Paris. We really enjoyed that hotel most of all and if we came back, would probably stay there. Great location, low key family vibe, and lots of interesting dining options that are not super celebrity chef focused.
My only other tip would be to go during the week if you are going with kids. We noticed a significant uptick in drunken antics/big crowds/long lines from Thursday night to Friday night. The kids had a great time and I think learned a bit. Again, I really appreciate everyone’s great advice and help - it was definitely overwhelming to get used to, but having your tips in mind helped make the transition smoother and the whole trip more enjoyable.
I finished all of the classes I need for my major a semester early, so I'm done with college. I'm working a full time job as a Special Education Assistant at a local elementary school, so I still get spring break, which naturally meant a Vegas trip. My friends’ reactions varied from “weren’t you just there?!?” to “how many times have you been there?” (5, not that I’m counting), to “of course you are.” (Un)fortunately all of my buddies from college had spring break a week before mine, so I had an excuse for a solo trip. I really enjoy solo trips. I love the freedom that comes with them, and being able to call the shots however I want without having to worry about anyone else. I like meeting people, doing my own thing, and being able to follow my whims. That said, in a crazy turn of events, I was able to coordinate a meeting with a girl I’d matched with on Tinder (hereafter referred to as Cinderella). I matched with her a year ago during a layover at O’Hare on my way back from Japan, and we’ve talked off and on. Her spring break lined up with mine, and I jokingly invited her. She actually took e seriously, and by that point I couldn’t back out, so it was on. I flew out to the desert on Sunday and came back Thursday evening, whereas I got her to fly out Tuesday and leave Thursday morning, leaving me ample time for gambling on both ends. I budgeted my usual $100 a day for gambling, for a $500 bankroll. I’ve been refining my money management system to ensure that I keep enough in the kitty to keep gambling and keep coming to Vegas. The gist of it is that I bring a fresh $100 bill with me each day, and keep whatever I have left at the end of the day for next time. I try to protect my winnings by cashing out my initial buy in if I double it, pocketing that for the next trip, and playing only the amount of my initial buy in, hopefully with many more pocketed chips. I really have to stick to this and a preset loss limit because I’m operating on a loss limit. I booked a flight on Allegiant, direct from Colorado Springs for $76 one way. I was hoping the flight back would go down, but it never did, so I ended up paying $170 for the flight back. Not too bad considering I had three nights comped at the Golden Gate and I didn’t have to pay for a shuttle from DIA (I just gave my buddy some whiskey for the trouble of driving me). I maxed out my comped room offer at the Golden Gate, booking for three nights from Sunday-Tuesday. I stayed at Harrah's Wednesday, since I like to take the strip in for one day (after I get the gambling out of my system), and also because I wanted to give Tinderella the full Vegas experience for her first time. As per usual, I fit my grossly overpacked bag under the seat as a "personal item" in order to avoid paying the exorbitant bag fees. It's a point of pride for me to be able to stick it to the airlines and efficiently pack 4 days worth of things into a small grocery bag. In a related matter of principle, my signature shooters of rum made the trip to COS with me. A friend and his partner picked me up from the airport and we went to Pho Kim Long. It was my first time eating Vietnamese, and I really enjoyed it. I sampled some pho, grilled chicken, milk tea, and an eggplant dish. It was all so good, and I was so starving, that I forgot to document any of it. I checked into my room at the Golden Gate, and dropped my bags off. As per usual, the room was loud and I could hear people walking in the halls, and the shower has two temperatures: freezing or scorching. Oh well, free is free. I went down to the players club to redeem my Allegiant match play (2 $25 chips if you show a confirmation number within 24 hours of landing). I was pleasantly surprised to see the same lady who helped me last time. She remembered me and said it was great to see me again and we chatted while she redeemed my offers. It felt pretty good to have someone remember me in Vegas, although it did make me feel slightly degenerate at the same time (not that that makes me feel bad; it’s a point of pride). In addition to my room, I also had $10 of free slot play and $15 of food credit at DuPar's. Who says gambling can't pay off? SUNDAY I went to Binion's to play some Bonus Poker, which was more like Boner Poker. I got boned for $60 without hitting anything particularly noteworthy. The scattered straights and flushes that I hit weren't enough to bring me positive, and I was chasing my losses the whole time. I got $5 free play and a $10 food credit for the cafe on my Motherlode spins. Down to my last $40 for the day less than 30 minutes into the night, I was pretty frustrated. Since it was already late, I decided to play aggressive and try to turn it around. I went to the Golden Gate and bought into blackjack with all of my bankroll for the night a little after midnight. I wasn't having much luck, even though everyone at the table besides me seemed to be winning. I was down to my last $25, so I went all in with my match play. I’m a (single) red chip player, so betting green is huge for me. At a quarter of my bankroll, and all that I have left, I’m freaking out. I can barely stand to look up, and I see an Ace. I try to stay calm and not get ahead of myself, and then the second card comes: Jack! I hit a blackjack for a sweet $75 payout that brought me right back to where I'd started for the day. I pocketed 2 greens and kept playing with the remaining $50. I worked up the courage to put down my second match play after steadily increasing my chip count and pocketing a couple more greens. On the second big matchplay hand, my 17 beat a dealer bust. I pocketed another $50 and kept playing. At this point, my bankroll management strategy is really coming into play. I’m fairly steadily pocketing greens, (and $5 worth of 50¢ chips from blackjacks). I was tipping generously, betting a dollar for the dealer every few hands. It was a good table, with a fun lesbian couple (who played with horrible strategy, splitting 10s and staying on 14s, to name a few… luckily I don’t mind how others play, because in the long run it events out) and some nice guys who came in later. I got a pair of aces, which I split only to get 2 more aces and learn that you aren't allowed to resplit aces. My 2 12s lost to a dealer 17 which was painful, but I can't complain too much after paying for my flight with the match play alone. A new dealer came in after a while and all of my friends left, so I was playing heads up. I wasn't feeling it, so after I lost $25 I colored up and walked away with $250 at 4:30am. It was a huge relief to lock in half of my bankroll as a guaranteed return the first night, especially after being down so fast. I was so wired after playing for 4+ hours and increasing my buy in 8x that I couldn't sleep, so I called both of my parents before they went to work and texted my degenerate cousin the great news. $100 in, $250 out (+$150) +$150 on the trip MONDAY I slept until noon and took it easy after waking up. I went to Mermaid's for some quick drink service to start the day, and turned $5 into $20 on a vintage nickel WoF multireel. Unfortunately the luck didn't continue, and I donked it (and $60) off at Boner Poker. I hit a few full houses/flushes/straights, but it wasn't enough to get me above water. I hit four to a royal twice, but couldn’t finish it either time. Had lunch at Binion's, using my $10 voucher to get pancakes, scrambled eggs, and wheat toast. At least I got something (a $100 brunch) out of all the Boner Poker losses. I bought into $3 craps at the Fremont for $21. I've been cutting my teeth at $1 craps at the Wildwood Casino out in Colorado, so I was excited to give it a shot in Vegas. I lucked out and ran my $21 up to $50. I should've pressed harder since two shooters had rolls of 26 and 27, but at least I left with something. I went to the D for some horses and cocktails. I bought in for $30 and was hammered by the end. I had enough wins to keep me there for a few hours, including a nice 105 payout on 4-5. I called it an early night and went to bed around midnight since I was so drunk and because I'd lost all my money. $100 in, $0 out (-$100) +$50 on the trip TUESDAY I woke up with a nice hangover from all of the Whiskey Cokes I'd drank at the Derby the previous night, so I did the only thing to do in that situation: mimosas and a greasy burger (after buying overpriced Advil at the ABC store). I went to Flippin' Good Burgers and got my usual, the Farm Burger. It's one of all time favorite burgers and I love getting it every time! I can't recommend them enough. I donked off $40 on Boner Poker at Binion’s and some random slots, and blew $10 at 25¢ roulette at the El Cortez. I was chasing a 20 (not sure why, I just had a hunch... Maybe Nate is rubbing off on me) and didn't hit it, so I lost after treading water for a while. After losing all this before lunch, I decided to add a discretionary $20 more to my kitty for the day. My tinderella got in about 2:30 in the afternoon, at which point I was playing craps. I made her wait until the roll was done to go meet her, like the true degenerate I am. She wasn't happy that I made her wait with all of her bags, but I can't say that I regret my choices. After she dropped her stuff off, we went to Binion’s where I used a $10 coupon to pay for my guilty pleasure of country fried steak and eggs. I picked up the rest of the tab with comp dollars, which was pretty satisfying for a low roller like me. After lunch, Tinderella wanted to play blackjack, so naturally I obliged. Bought in for $30 at the GG and was able to run it up to $50. She was gambling with scared money (she bought in for $5…) and didn't really enjoy it, but that didn't stop me. We headed to the Fremont for craps, but she didn't want to play. We can't all be degenerates. I bought in for $30 and played for a while and could tell she was getting bored. I told her (in between rolls of course) that she's welcome to leave any time, and she was gone before the next shooter sevened out. I stayed for a while, and with the help of a hot shooter was able to cash out for $100. I went to GG for $25 worth of BJ before bed, content that I'd locked in $100 on the day. I played for a good 2 hours on my $25 buy in before losing it, so I was happy. I had a massive hand where I split 2s, resplit, and doubled a 9 against a dealer 4. This took all of my money on the table, so the guy next to me (who was so drunk off of two Coronas that he couldn't add up his cards or figure out what his total was with aces) spotted me $5. Luckily I won, and had a massive $40 payout, and gave him his red back as well as betting a dealer tip for him. I was tipping the dealer very generously, and helped her color up her tokes to a a green. Finally content with the gambling, I went up to the room to find Tinderella asleep. When she woke up she said "you weren't kidding about being a degenerate gambler." I can't say I didn't give her fair warning, so I didn't feel too bad. We had a good time and went to bed. $120 in, $100 out (-$20) +$30 on the trip WEDNESDAY While I was packing, I ripped my Bucee’s cooler bag, so I had to buy a souvenir Las Vegas bag. Started the day off with breakfast at DuPar’s so I could use my $15 voucher. I got a bacon avocado omelette with jack cheese and a blueberry muffin. It was delicious, as were the pancakes that I stole a bite of. Played a little blackjack and I ran $30 up to $50. I had a Groupon at Banger Brewing, so we headed there next. $19 for a flight of 4 beers, two half-pint pours, and a one liter growler to go was a steal. I wasn’t a huge fan of the El Heffe (Jalapeño and pepper beer, although it was exactly as described). I loved the Morning Joe (coffee kolsch) however, and took my pour and growler of that. It tasted just like a frappucino without being overly sweet, and was a very unique taste. We checked out of the Golden Gate and took the Deuce to the Strip. A guy struck up conversation with me, and we talked the whole way about solar energy. Before I got off, we exchanged numbers and he told me that, as far as he was concerned, I'd "aced the interview" and he'd "call within the month with a job offer for me" that will "pay 6 figures." I'm obviously skeptical, but it made for an entertaining ride and it was a nice confidence boost to know that I can ace an interview hammered. Once we got to the Strip we watched the Bellagio fountains and then went to Harrah’s to check in. I paid the extra $7 to upgrade to a strip view, and the jury’s still out on if it was worth it. The room was surprisingly nice, especially after the comped nights at the Golden Gate. We got a half hour in at the pool before it closed (which was long enough for my fair skin to get sunburned, don’t worry), freshened up, and walked to Ra for dinner. We got lost in the mall looking for it, but we finally found it and it was delicious! Tinderella insisted on paying for dinner, and I gladly took her up on it. The sushi was incredible! The specialty rolls on happy hour were a delight, and the Viva Las Vegas roll was my favorite. By the time we finished dinner, it was dark out and surprisingly chilly with the wind. We stopped at H&M where I found a sweater that was 50% off the clearance price, effectively making a $28 sweater $6.49. My frugality thoroughly satisfied, we walked back to the Linq Promenade for some cupcakes and Happy Half Hour on the High Roller. I bought a cinnamon cupcake from the Cupcake ATM. It saved the wait of standing in line, and it was a pretty cool experience. The frosting was delectable, but the cupcake itself was a little dry and left something to be desired. We redeemed a Living Social deal for the High Roller (thanks Tinderella), and were in the car within 5 minutes. As we know by now, I’m a value hunter, and even though I didn’t pay for the ride, I wasn’t going to leave any money on the table. I went in with a goal: 10+ drinks in 30 minutes. I started strong with some Jack and Cokes, and was 3 deep by the time we were a quarter of the way up. I switched to a Jack and club for a palette cleanser, and then downed two more Jack and Cokes by the time we reached the top. Once we got to the top, the car did a shot together which put me at 7. I eased up a bit, nursing another Jack and Coke on the way down (8). When we neared the bottom, I switched to a Bud Light (9). I hid it on the rail and ordered another one (10) for last call, and when the bartender told us that we could only bring one drink off, I took a big gulp and stealthily snuck one in my pocket. I made it off, and felt so accomplished! With my buzz coming on strong, it was time for some gambling. I walked all the way to Hooter’s to sign up for the card and get $15 of match play and $10 free play. I won $12.50 on Boner Poker, which I then lost (plus another $50) on $3 blackjack. The game was so painful I don’t know why I stayed. Past a point, it was like schadenfreude. I kept buying in thinking it would turn around, only to get beat by one or two. The final hand, on which I bet $10, I got a 20 vs a dealer 3. I breathe a sigh of relief, which is intensified when the dealer flips a 10. Guess what comes next: an 8, for a dealer 21. I had a hard time shaking the loss off, not because I lost $50 (I do that all the time), but because it was at Hooter’s. Anywhere else I wouldn’t have minded, but it just felt so dirty. Tinderella had a flight at 5am, so I stayed up with her and walked her down to the cab, and then crashed. $100 in, $0 out (-$100) -$70 on the trip THURSDAY I woke up at 7:45 to pee and felt like absolute death, so I was dreading my 9:15 alarm. I went back to sleep, and miraculously felt fine when I woke up, even beating the alarm by 2 minutes! My stomach didn't feel too great, but after a shower and granola bar I was good to go. I felt like a professional tetris player as I packed my personal item, which had now expanded to include my newly purchased sweater. I checked out and cracked open the Banger growler that I'd put on ice the night before. I can't say that a liter of beer was what my body wanted after a night of heavy drinking, but I'm a man of principle and I refuse to waste beer, so I did what I needed to do. I cracked my Morning Joe open and started walking North on the Strip. A coffee kolsch was close enough to breakfast for me. I got on the Deuce with a good buzz going, and walked to Binion's. I played Boner Poker one last time and was up $10 for the first time all trip, but it quickly went back down to $20, at which point I cashed out and called it even. Having earned 5 points, I spun the wheel and got $5 of free play, which I donated back to Boner Poker. I decided to hit craps hard at the Fremont, buying in for $30. I ran it up to $60 in short order, but then lost it after pressing aggressively. I bought in for $25 more. I was up and down, but finally down to my last $2. I threw it on C and E and was ready to walk away when a 3 hit. The bet stayed on for the next roll (at which point I was tempted to take it off, but I didn’t), and what comes out but a yo? I parlayed my winnings into some place bets and come bets with odds, and ran it up to $81. I colored up and was going to walk with $80, but I decided to throw one more dollar yo on my way out. Guess what hits... another 11! I walked out with $95. My flight home left at 5:47 and it was already 2pm. On the way to GG for my last blackjack buy in of the trip, I walked across the street from the Fremont to do the free spin at 4Queens. I watched in awe as 3 clubs lined up and the 4Queens hit the payline! I got $25 of free play. I decided to press up to 50¢ 9/6 Jacks or Better in the hopes of hitting something decent, or at the very least extracting some of the cash value. Instead, I hit literally nothing in all 10 spins, cementing that it was not to be a VP trip. I was gonna try $5 more of quarters, but the bill got stuck. After an attendant came over and I got it back, I tried again only to get the same error. I took it as a sign and left to the Golden Gate. I bought in for $50 at a table with some fellow Midwesterners (from Wisconsin). I played aggressive since I only had 30 minutes until I should leave for my flight, and I was able to color up to a black. I played my remaining $25 down and walked with $100. Because I'd gambled so late, I missed the WAX and had to take a Lyft to McCarran. It was $30 and I had perfect timing; by the time I got through security, boarding had begun but I didn't have to rush. No stress of missing the flight, and no wasted time not gambling... Well worth the $30. The flight was hotter than the 7th circle of hell, and ironically the warmest I was the whole trip since it was so windy every day. The air was a sweet relief, as was the water I'd filled my growler with. Uneventful flight, minus my failed attempt to eat a melted chocolate bar. I typed up the bulk of this TR and basked in the glory of my first winning trip, and tried to ignore the two-part hangover already setting in. The Vegas hangover is hard enough, so it sure didn't help to feel the Long Islands wearing off... $100 in, $190 out (+$90) +$20 on the trip TOTAL: $520 in, $540 out +$20 on the trip I had an awesome trip, and am very happy to have my first WINNING TRIP even if it was only $20! I got a lot of value out of it, and think that four nights was the perfect duration for Spring Break. I got some good gambling and drinking in, but I’m definitely ready to be home and go back to healthy eating and working out. I don’t have the next trip planned, but I’m hoping to come out later in the summer, perhaps for a shorter duration so I could have a higher daily bankroll. I hope you enjoyed reading my TR! Thanks for taking the time to read through my low-roller account!
[PC][Early 00's] First Person Las Vegas Casino Game
Platform(s): PC Genre: Casino Estimated year of release: Early 2000's Graphics/art style: 3D, first person Notable gameplay mechanics: Like I mentioned, the game allowed the player to select between 3 or 4 casinos, namely the Mirage, Treasure Island, and the Bellagio? Each casino allowed you to play any tipe of casino game, and you would "walk" by point-and-clicking to other areas of the casinos. You could even deposit money into ATMs and pull money back out.
[Table] IAmA Casino Pit Boss with years of experience in Table Games and Casino Ops and would love to answer questions you may have about the business!
Verified?(This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet) Date: 2014-04-08 Link to submission (Has self-text)
I saw a guy lose $1,000,000 once, I actually was dealing when he lost about $200,000 of that in about 15 minutes. It made me sick, but he didn't seem to mind much. Later he attempted to sue the casino because "clearly his drinks were spiked," but he later recanted that.
How to get comps: Play for a long time and/or have a strong average bet. Buying in for large amounts and then not playing won't get you comps. Alternatively, be a fun person and the supervisor will probably hook you up because we appreciate the fun (not drunk) people.
Those two words likely don't go together. Trust me, we deal with SO many people every night that if you're drunk we are probably throwing you in with the others no matter what.
Counting cards is not cheating at all. You're not doing anything but keeping a running total in your head and basing your play off of that. That being said, casinos are private businesses and can refuse service to anyone for any reason. Yes, people have been caught counting cards. The majority of them aren't that good at it, to be honest, and so we let them think they're getting one over on us (and still lose.) If someone wins "too much" or does too well, they will be approached by senior management and told that they can still play but can no longer play blackjack.
Generally I'm looking to see if they deviate from a reasonable basic strategy and have an abnormal success rate on hands where they make questionable plays. At that point I'll run a count as they play and see if they are changing their strategy and/or betting patterns when the count is in their favor.
Honestly these days it's all computerized. Your play (on your players card) determines the comps you get. If it's your first time or your birthday (or you've played and/or lost a lot) you'll get more than you "should."
Some casinos (ours included) don't use the electronic betting recognition sofware. If you don't see the dealer pressing a little button before each hand, here's my advice - bet big right at the beginning. A lot of supervisors will put in your average bet when you first sit down and they swipe your players card and then won't adjust your average bet unless you made big changes throughout playing.
My favorite person in the world is my lovely girlfriend, who asked me to do this and also supports me in literally every aspect of my life. She's an incredible person, I'll tell you that much!
We've permanently evicted people for threatening physical violence on other players and/or employees, getting into fights, things like that. A man peed under a blackjack table once; he was evicted and arrested!
Good lord, don't do this. Best-case scenario you get away with it, worst-case scenario you're arrested. You could also get thrown out if they don't want to deal with the cops or it wasn't that large of an amount. But seriously, just bet the don't from the start. You make your money off of the odds anyway.
Cheating is less common than you may think these days. The technology we employ is really advanced, as most places have upgraded their surveillance tech. We can see a lot now. The best ways that people cheat now aren't by physically manipulating things, but by "taking shots." Little things, things like making a hand signal that could be interpreted as a hit or a stand and then raising a fuss if it doesn't go your way. Most casinos will just give you the money if it's not too much instead of fully investigate it.
Some casinos use RFID (they'll have a more plastic feel to them.) Honestly, even high-value casinos' chips are subject to counterfeiting. I've seen stickers replaced, I've even seen people paint lower-denomination chips to look like higher-denomination chips.
The best odds of all the table games is betting the Don't Pass with max odds behind it. Second-best is the Pass Line with max odds behind it. Those odds are true odds, the casino has ZERO house edge.
I HATE auto-shufflers. No, they have no way of knowing how many people are playing at the table or which cards go to the dealer. It's legitimately random, moreso than some dealers who have specific shuffles.
Honestly, I'm probably not looking unless you're winning a large amount or you're making really large swings in your bets. I won't let you know if I suspect you, I'll have already called surveillance and they'll be running down (counting along) on the next shoe to see what you're doing. If you see security or people in suits near your table, just color up and leave. They won't do anything to you, but they're preparing to talk to you about what they've found and might back you off.
Most states will publish the odds for slot machines. Honestly most machines at reputable places (as in not bars) will have a return rate of 95-98%. That's a lower house edge than carnival games or even roulette.
The best perk? Honestly, that it pays well and I don't actually have to DO too much, haha.
I'm fine with people making "dumb" moves. Generally the dealer will say "Are you suuure?" if someone is about to split up their 20 or something like that. Other players do get mad when someone does something, but we protect our players. If someone wants to make a nonstandard or risky move, they have every right to. I personally wouldn't let a player berate another player, and it has nothing to do with the casino's interests.
Facial recognition software has always been pretty strong going back for quite a while now. There aren't really too many ways it's used other than for people who have cheated or who have overall suspicious behavior. That's the only reason we'd want to run the software on someone.
The only time players will get mad is if you're right on top of them. Stand back, see if you can get a pamphlet on the rules of the game you're watching, or just ask the dealers or supervisors! Honestly, they want you to play - not because they want to take your money, but because it's fun to teach and show someone. As for "easy" games, roulette is pretty easy to learn, dice is the most fun but can be overwhelming, carnival games (Three Card Poker, Mississippi Stud) are very easy since they're all poker-based.
We're not allowed to tell someone that we think they have a problem, but we can respond if they tell us they do. We have paperwork on it, we're trained to spot it (chasing losses, claiming to bet money they can't afford, etc) and we also have a hotline they can call. Additionally, players can fill out self-exclusion paperwork banning themselves from the casino if they feel they can't gamble responsibly. If they come back while banned, they can and will be arrested for trespassing.
Table Games pays VERY well compared to other departments. Your housekeeping and security is probably making $10-$12/hr (more than they would at non-casino businesses, but still) and your slot techs are probably making $14 or so an hour. Dealers with the toke rate start above $20/hr, and as you go up (supervisors don't make tips where I work and at most places, although some places give supervisors a cut of it) you make more. Especially for the amount of work I do, I get paid well.
You wouldn't get in trouble at all. Just turn away from the table. Although for comedy purposes, the waitress could come back and say "7&7?" as she brought the drink really loudly, then the table sevens out and blames her.
Before I started working at my current place I heard a story that happened there where the dealer was using their back foot to stop the Big Six wheel (never play Big Six; happy it's gone) early which meant that the people playing knew where it would stop. He was physically handcuffed at the table and arrested. DON'T CHEAT.
You can just push a chip forward and say "For you." They'll thank you and drop it! -Not really, no. Play what you want! Stay away from unruly people in general, wherever they may be. Enjoy yourself!
Years ago a guy was playing blackjack. He lost, left, and then came back with five crumpled up $1 bills so that he could make a $5 bet. He lost, was gone for another hour, and then came back and did it again.
I'm okay with people who come every day, some people enjoy it. But I hate to see people play with money they shouldn't bet with.
It's a lot less stressful than you're worried about. Go in, talk to people, enjoy yourself. It's seriously not that big of a deal, just enjoy your first time! Bring an amount you're okay with losing. Don't bring your ATM card in. Don't chase losses (I know I just lost my last bet but I know I can win the next one!)
It's in your head. The day of, they probably kept tabs on you because you happened to be in an off-limits area with a money transfer. Now, they wouldn't remember or care.
It depends on the casino. Most places I've worked bring in 60-90% of their floor revenue from slots (10-40$ from tables.) Smaller places pull in six-figures per day easily, even on slower days.
It's not part of the dealers' jobs to berate someone that's winning. The only things that should bother a good dice dealer are when people are throwing in tons of late bets or are being rude. If you're winning, good for you! Keep winning! Sounds like they were just being jerks.
It's me, I'm the pit boss. I've come across a couple. The most recent one is a lady that our surveillance ran a report on and concluded that she's definitely counting. She's not that good at it, though, so we let her go because even though she bets big she doesn't actually win. We have the camera on her every time she plays, though.
Mississippi Stud, by far. It used to be Three Card, but it's all about Mississippi Stud now. Total tables at our place is ~40 or so. We haven't had too many new games, lately it's just been adding bonus bets to existing games (three card bonus bets on pretty much all of our carnival games now.)
Most casinos have a tip policy. I can't accept chips or money at all (dealers can accept chips, obviously.) We can't accept non-monetary gifts with a value of over $50 as well.
As a dealer, I've been tipped in orange ($1,000) chips before by high-limit players.
It's hard to say. The amount of people cheating with old methods (counting cards, etc) has declined. The amount of people taking shots (pretending they didn't want that hit, things like that) has increased, but it's harder to prove.
There really aren't ways to maximize it. Increasing your hands per hour won't matter to the computer system, you'd honestly be better off betting more at a slower table because then it shows a higher average bet over a longer period of time.
You apply when a job is available and when a casino is starting/advertising a "dealer school." Some places will offer the training which is usually free, but you're not technically hired until after the class.
Great question! Everyone has to get a responsible alcohol server card, even people that don't serve drinks. It's a basic class that goes over how to spot intoxication, drinks per hour, things like that. People who can serve drinks also have to have a bar card. Where I work, dealers and supervisors can't cut people off. The Pit calls a Beverage Supervisor who makes that call.
It's an interesting question. Some places in the US don't serve free drinks. Everywhere is different. I don't foresee it actually taking, it's a pretty big part of "the experience."
All carnival games are the same. Let It Ride is reverse Mississippi Stud, all the other games like Three Card and Flop are just variants of poker. Live poker is a little different, you can read and learn about it! There's always blackjack, which is simple and fun.
16 tables per supervisor? Different casinos have different terminology, ours has a floor per 4-6 tables and then a pit that oversees it all. 16 seems crazy to me.
Interesting. We have about 40 tables total across multiple pits, but only one pit manager who oversees it all and runs the pencil/rosteroadmap. 1-3 floors per pit, depending on the size (4-6 tables per floor)
Personally, I'd like the tip instead of the bet. One of the places I worked at trained the dealers to always take it instead of betting it. Those bets have house odds; give me the money!
TV shows are dumb. We have cameras everywhere that can zoom in pretty well (no ENHANCE! ENHANCE!) Huge places in Vegas probably do have very sophisticated technology, we're smaller and so we have tons of cameras, security, electronic locks and vaults, things like that.
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Yes, I'm an executive so I'm in touch with most everything that goes on. Most of the time when I see something like that, I just say "good for us" and try not to think about whether or not the person can afford it or not.
I, obviously, like to think I'm uber classy. But in general I think paycheck cashing promotions are pretty tasteless. E.g., Cash your paycheck and get 5% of the total value in free slot play.
Let's say your check is $1,000. The casino will cash your check and then also give you $50 in promotional credits to be used on the slot machines. The idea is that since we've given you some "free" money to begin playing the machines you will also dip into the $1,000 cash that we also handed you.
No, you get the $1K in cash and the $50 can only be used in the slot machine. I've done this once when I started my new job and my direct deposit wasn't set up yet so they issued me a live check.
I really don't like them so not often unless someone is in town that wants to go. I don't have a moral objection, just think it's a waste. "Hey do you like to eat steak? Give me $20 to smell this delicious steak! No, you can't try it!!!".
So that having been said, I might spend $20 to give to the girls on the stage and maybe a lap dance.
No, I don't get treated better because of my title really. They usually just care about how much money you spend and that's it.
Ummm... Off the top of my head I think the sneakiest thing is probably side bets on table games (e.g., play an extra $5 and if your two cards are a pair then you win $25) because the odds are terrible or things like advertising low table game limits but modifying the rules (e.g., blackjack pays 6:5 vs 3:2) to increase the house advantage.
First, we quantify most everything by "theoretical worth". That is, how much we can expect to win from you based on the house advantage of the game you play and how long you play. The general formula is decisions per hour X house advantage X hours played X average bet. So, $25/hand at blackjack X 1.5% house advantage X 2 hours played X 60 decisions per hour = $45 in theoretical worth.
Second, It really depends on the particular property. The number is a lot higher for Wynn then it would be at Joker's Wild (a really, really dumpy casino on the outskirts of Vegas). That having been said, most places will be very happy to have you if you are in the $150-300 a day in theoretical worth range.
I just threw the 1.5 number out there. We also factor in skill into house advantage so as to be more favorable to the player, comp wise. comp wise we'd probably give you 15% of the $45, or $6.75. That's just in what we call discretionary comps that the pit supervisor or host can give you. Then you could expect another 30% in the mail via free bets, hotel, food, etc.
Well I've worked all over the country and, yes, of course we always keep an eye out on new competition that would impact our existing customer base, especially as the business has seen much more legalization in new jurisdictions in the past 20 years.
For Vegas, I think most strip properties have dealt with this by investing in properties in regional markets so as to send their customers to their Vegas properties so it is pretty accretive. Someone from Harrah's Ak-Chin in the Phoenix area gets offers from Harrah's Las Vegas quite often.
The bigger problem really is for the markets where they were a monopoly for some time and really rested on their laurels. Reno and Atlantic City come to mind. Those markets are dying fast and there really isn't much upside. In Atlantic City, for example, you have casinos buying competitors just to close them so as to reduce the inventory.
I worked as a slot analyst (analyzing machine performance) years ago and never on the floor so I don't know/remember the exact steps. Essentially, though, it's verifying that the machine is functioning properly and recording the details of the jackpot for audit/regulators. If it is a taxable jackpot ( >= $1,200) then we are required to fill out the IRS W2G form to report it to them for tax purposes so at that point we have to get your ID, etc. to facilitate that. Then of course, there is the matter of actually paying you the money, verifying that it is the correct amount, etc. The tax form does get sent to the IRS. You can request the taxes not be taken out of your jackpot as you are only taxed on the net win at the end of the year.
4.) There's a lot of pressure to make money/meet your budget so all of the bullshit that goes along with that. Dealing with politics, having to adjust staffing, etc. And I don't like that at my level the usual tenure is 2-3 years so you move around a lot. I'd like to be more settled, especially in a place I'd really want to live for a long time and I don't feel like I have much control of that in this business.
1.) I mean there is only one of me at every casino so if something happens whether I don't like where I work or what something different (e.g., more money) or they don't like me (shocking, it happens!) then the likelihood that I have to move is high, especially if I'm in a city that only has a handful of casinos. 2.) I obviously feel like my skills could take me anywhere! But in reality, it has been tough to change industries when I've tried. Usually places like hotels don't pay as much as casinos and look for more sales-related skills and restaurants don't really have marketing people except at the corporate office whereas my skills are more analytics-oriented. And both usually pay less than casinos.
The problem with returning to that type of vibe is that it's difficult/impossible given how big the casinos are. Sure it was easy for Benny Binion to control everything and not be "corporate" when the old Horseshoe was literally 1/10th the size of MGM Grand.
I went there for grad school so was older and had a wife and a house. It is definitely a commuter school so there's not a lot of school spirit. I went to undergrad a school with a huge, huge, huge, football program so it was a bit of a change for me. I also didn't find the students to be terribly bright (with exceptions, of course). On the upside, a lot of people like living in Vegas and the Hotel Administration College (where I went) has very, very good brand recognition.
Yes, they hang out at the bars and then there are services you can call and have them sent to your room. If it's overt, casino security will clear them out of the bar area but the vice cops generally focus on human trafficking kind of stuff.
1.) The industry relies heavily on industry experience so job prospects are good if you're willing to start in a low position and work you're way up. If you go to UNLV and get the degree I got and expect for some casino to make you a Director of VP with no experience then you're going to be very disappointed.
3.) Definitely potential opportunity. I've read about that small tribe in Texas. It'll happen eventually in Texas. The people in Louisiana will not be happy, though.
Viable for what? Making consistent money? Then definitely not. If you are entertained by thrill of gambling and have the discretionary funds to do it, then by all means.
My undergrad degree is pretty bland, political science, so it wasn't hard at first. I did my grad degree in casino management because I was living in Vegas, wanted to get an MBA, didn't want to take 2 years off from work to get a full-time degree, didn't have the support of my job to get an executive MBA, and didn't like UNLV's MBA program.
Las Vegas Sands / Venetian is actively trying to kill it (which I don't really understand) but everyone just sees it as a means to make more money so are ready to pounce when it's legal.
1.) Generally there are poker dealers and table games (e.g., blackjack) dealers. Few do both. Among the table games dealers, most know multiple games as the more you know the more hirable you are. In terms of the qualifications it's just that you've gone to some sort of dealer school (there are commercial ones and some casinos do it in-house), experience, and a live audition. 2.) Really depends on the market and the casino. At the high end like Wynn or Venetian they will do close to $100K/year but at an entry-level place it could be more like $25K/year. It's base salary plus pooled tips (aka tokes).
3.) You've never thought of dealing the WSOP? They need as many dealers as they can find.
Encore and the new Barrymore are definitely designed for the Asian gambler. And you'd, obviously, have to assume the casinos in Macau are, too, although I've never been.
Typical work day is get to work and look at the previous day's financial results and react accordingly. I.e., ask the analysts to pull numbers, talk to the head of a certain department about their opinion on something, etc.
Emails emails emails.
Then it's usually a lot of meetings about upcoming things whether it be planning an event, approving new advertising, doing the strategic planning for the property for 2015, meeting with vendors, etc.
Emails emails emails.
By this time the numbers or reports I've asked to be run are ready so I sit down and look at them and act accordingly (e.g., hey, looks like we're spending too much on postage to mail to customers too far away, let's change the way we do this for next time), etc.
Emails emails emails.
Then it's usually time to go home but 2-3 times a week I'll have a dinner or event to go to with a vendor or colleague or someone from the press.
Emails emails emails.
Probably 2-3 Saturdays a month I'll go in and work for a few hours just to catch up on stuff or if there's an event to meet and greet players, make sure everything is going well, etc.
The masses don't care about either especially if you're able to offer low limits. The limit and the number of decks is what attracts people to a bj game. Still never going to allow counting.
Well certainly there are more what we call "front of house" positions (dealers, porters, servers, bartenders, etc.) than "back of house" positions (accountants, IT, warehouse, etc.) so in terms of pure numbers, yes it's easier to get -any- FOH than -any- BOH position.
That having been said, if you're wanting an IT position shouldn't be too hard if you're willing to work anywhere and have a little experience. If you're wanting to just jump into the CIO job at Bellagio, more difficult.
They aren't. The games have to go through pretty rigorous testing by the state or an agency of the state to be allowed to be sold. Gaming Labs International is one such company.
We definitely do SEO/SEM campaigns but primarily for hotel related keywords for people looking for hotel rooms. I worked at a place a little outside of the main city in the south one time and we'd buy broader search terms for people looking for "entertainment in main city" in case they didn't know there was a casino nearby.
I'd rather not say as I don't want to be outted but I have worked for large publicly traded companies, privately held companies (e.g., owned by hedge funds), and publicly traded companies where one individual owns the majority of the shares. I've never worked at a privately owned casino owned by one individual, though.
From a gambling standpoint, people in that age range like penny slots so we offer a lot of penny slots. We put on shows that would appeal to them. We would make the decor more classic vs hip. Etc.
It really depends more on the manner in which you win and how you behave. We're required by law to fill out a Currency Transaction Report for transactions over $10,000. So if you got to that point you would have already given us your ID, etc. We'd obviously make sure that surveillance is watching you to make sure you're not cheating but if you're on a random hot streak and betting $10K/hand then it wouldn't be a huge deal at most strip properties.
At my place, (which is not an uber classy place like Wynn or Venetian), you'd get pretty much whatever you'd want. Suite, dinners, limo from the airport, show tickets, etc. We'd generally reinvest in you 30% of your loss so just figure out what $3,000 in comps would get you.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe you really just need to be tenacious and take anything to get your foot in the door. It's a very crowded field, especially on the what I call "pretty picture" side of marketing. I wish I had a more specific answer to give you.
I usually say I'm in charge of driving profitable revenue. The departments that report up to me are charge of advertising, promotions, entertainment, public relations, direct mail/database marketing, and VIP marketing.
Absolutely. I think most of the major companies have management training/internship programs. Go to their careers websites. Caesars Entertainment, MGM International, Pinnacle Entertainment, Penn National Gaming, etc.
I think the best combination in today's world is to be more right brained with a creative bent as more and more the question asked of marketing folks is "quantify how your idea makes me money?" and less and less "what's the most most creative idea you have?"
It's a crowded field especially on the left brained side (e.g., advertising and public relations) because people think it's "cool". So if that's you're interest, I'd say being tenacious and creative is what is going to get you far in that world because it's tough to get your foot in the door and you have to have thick skin and then when you do get your foot in the door you are going to have a very short leash to prove yourself.
The hotel management program in general is not selective but the casino management program is difficult because it's pretty quantitatively-focused so there's a lot of attrition.
I'm not from here and my ex-wife hated living here thus why she's my ex. My friends and I go and see concerts, go to bars, we like guns so go shooting sometimes, and most Sundays cook for each other.
Doing what, exactly? Just be willing to make not a lot of money for awhile and be willing to relocate frequently if you want to move up the ladder. I guess those are the first things that come to mind.
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